“Boredom: the desire for desires”

I hear this very often. People bore me and also that I’m getting bored.

The two main reasons we may be bored by others during conversation are these:

  • Certain people converse in ways that don’t gain or hold our interest. and…
  • If you are narrow-minded and interested in only a few topics (such as sports or fashion), then you may be bored by most talk.

Boredom is, after all, “the state of being weary and restless through lack of interest.”

Why do People Bore Us?

  • They don’t express with much emotion. They have “flat affect.” Without at least some feelings in their expression, they have no flavor in their words.
  • They are incurious about us and don’t ask us questions except routine ones like “How’s it going?” They are also incurious about the wide, wide world and show no genuine curiosity. (Apparently they’ve made up their minds.)
  • They are not current with what’s happening. If they do share some news, it’s old stuff we already know. They usually seem to be reporting yesterday’s newspaper.
  • They speak words but with little vocal variety. They sound mechanical because they don’t change their pace, pitch and volume to emphasize their meaning. They don’t use pauses with good effect. They express without vocal color.
  • They are predictable and tend to cover the same topics again and again. Without an occasional detour or surprise to intrigue us, we tend to lose interest. For example, if they are self-absorbed (and many people are), they talk exclusively about themselves and their points of view.

How not to get bored?

  • Change your thoughts. Your thoughts affect your behavior. By changing your mind about the meaning of your emotion and experiences, you will generate a different attitude.
  • Fire up your imagination. Create mental images to stimulate your thoughts. Visualize where you want to be and what you want to become. Use your imagination to experience a situation that you want to happen in your life. The wonderful thing about imagination is you can create anything you wish to experience.
  • Talk to other people. If the person next to you is looking as bored as you are, strike up a conversation! A good topic is how boring the event is. If you have a good person to talk to, the event can pass by pretty quick. You might also learn something.
  • Create your curiosity on what’s happening around and inside you. You find life boring because of the repetition or a pattern of some habits or activities. Try to look at and do them differently and get yourself fascinated with other options and possibilities.
  • Find, read, hear, watch or do something exciting, stimulating and entertaining.
  • Go out, see and experience new things.

 

 

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

 

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