Tag Archives: personality development

Speaking in Public

Public speaking isn’t all that difficult the way we consider it to be. Increasing your speaking skill in public is an achievable goal, especially with a little knowledge of the ways that can help you deliver a great speech with confidence.

Following are some suggestion on the ways you can excel at the Art of Public Speaking

  • Know the room. Be familiar with the place in which you will speak. Arrive early, walk around the speaking area and practice using the microphone and any visual aids.
  • Know the audience. Greet some of the audience as they arrive. It’s easier to speak to a group of friends than to a group of strangers.
  • Know your material. If you’re not familiar with your material or are uncomfortable with it, your nervousness will increase. Practice your speech and revise it if necessary.
  • Practice speaking with your friend(s) or your parents.
  • Prepare a good plan of speaking. There should be:

An opening

3 good middle points;

a summary (conclusion)

  • Don’t try to speak on too many issues. In addition, don’t wander off the topic.
  • Think carefully before you talk. Use silence; it can be a great ally and cause the audience to hang off your next words, wondering what you are about to say. Don’t be intimidated by silent moments.
  • Practice a lot beforehand. If it’s for a presentation or a speech, the more you practice it, the more it will take on a life of its own and feel more comfortable to deliver.
  • Connect with your audience. Use feelings and gestures to intensify a point. Just don’t overdo the gestures or emotion – a little goes a long way.
  • Don’t look directly into people’s eyes. Focus on their foreheads or on a place at the back of the audience, just above the heads in the audience. That way you won’t feel distracted.
  • Let go of assumptions. Just because an audience is not smiling or nodding in agreement does not mean they aren’t listening or feeling positive about your talk. People often do not display encouragement on their faces in an audience situation, so don’t seek it. You’ll know from the applause level at the end how well you went and by then, the speech is over!
  • Never get confused. Try to speak fluently.
  • Speaking fluently encourages you that you are doing all right.




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Tips to Boost Self Esteem

Most people feel bad about themselves from time to time. Feelings of low self-esteem may be triggered by being treated poorly by someone else recently or in the past, or by a person’s own judgments of him or herself. This is normal. However, low self-esteem is a constant companion for too many people, especially those who experience depression, anxiety, phobias, psychosis, delusional thinking, or who have an illness or a disability. If you are one of these people, you may go through life feeling bad about yourself needlessly. Low self-esteem keeps you from enjoying life, doing the things you want to do, and working toward personal goals. Following are Things You Can Do Right Away—Every Day—to Raise  Your Self-esteem

  • Pay attention to your own needs and wants. Listen to what your body, your mind, and your heart are telling you.
  • Take very good care of yourself. Begin today to take good care of yourself. Treat yourself as a wonderful parent would treat a small child or as one very best friend might treat another. Eat healthy foods and avoid junk foods (foods containing a lot of sugar, salt, or fat). Exercise. Moving your body helps you to feel better and improves your self-esteem.
  • Take time to do things you enjoy. You may be so busy, or feel so badly about yourself, that you spend little or no time doing things you enjoy–things like playing a musical  instrument, doing a craft project, flying a kite, or going fishing. Make a list of things you  enjoy doing. Then do something from that list every day. Add to the list anything new  that you discover you enjoy doing.
  • Get something done that you have been putting off. Clean out that drawer. Wash your car/ bike. Write that letter. Pay that bill.
  • Do things that make use of your own special talents and abilities. For instance, if you are good with your hands, then make things for yourself, family, and friends.
  • Dress in clothes that make you feel good about yourself.
  • Give yourself rewards
  • Spend time with people who make you feel good about yourself—people who treat you well. Avoid people who treat you badly.
  • Display items that you find attractive or that remind you of your achievements or of special times or people in your life. 
  • Take advantage of opportunities to learn something new or improve your skills. Take a class or go to a seminar.
  • Begin doing those things that you know will make you feel better about yourself— like going on a diet, beginning an exercise program or keeping your living space clean.
  • Do something nice for another person. Smile at someone who looks sad. Say a few kind words to the check-out cashier. Take a meal to a friend who is sick. Send a card to an acquaintance. Volunteer for a worthy  organization.

You may be doing some of these things now. There will be others you need to work on. You will find that you will continue to learn new and better ways to take care of yourself. As you incorporate these changes into your life, your self-esteem will continue to improve.

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Low Self Confidence

Before I begin with signs of low self-confidence and ways to improve them, I’d like to explain you’re the difference between Self-esteem and Self-confidence.

Although self-esteem and (self-) confidence are often used interchangeable, there is a crucial difference between both of them.

Self-esteem refers to how you feel about yourself overall; how much esteem, positive regard or self-love you have. Self-esteem develops from experiences and situations that have shaped how you view yourself today.

Self-confidence is how you feel about your abilities and can vary from situation to situation. I may have healthy self-esteem, but low confidence about situations involving my ability to do a work.

When you love yourself, your self-esteem improves, which makes you more confident. When you are confident in areas of your life, you begin to increase your self-confidence. Self-confidence might be said to stand on the shoulders of self-esteem. Without a healthy self-esteem, self-confidence has feet of clay. It might be temporarily ‘boosted’, but it cannot be sustained without genuine self-esteem. On the other hand, a healthy self-esteem nurtures self-confidence.

Signs of Low Self Confidence

A lack of self-confidence can be emotionally, physically and psychologically debilitating. The following are some signs that show that you may be lacking self-confidence.

  • Want to & Need to explain

The need to explain actions is one of the signs of a lack of self-confidence. Mistakes happen to everyone, but those who have self-confidence issues may feel that they have to give reasons. Suppose someone was having lunch with a group of people whom he doesn’t know very well and then he accidentally dropped his glass of coke on the floor. What will he do? Well, some people will immediately start to give reasons to explain what just happened by using comments like “oh, the glass was just at the edge of the table” or “oh, I am so tired today, that’s why I wasn’t concentrating”. Confident people don’t give reasons for their actions; if you dropped the glass or made a mistake then it doesn’t change who you are. It’s your right to make mistakes because you are human and you don’t have to find excuses for doing them.

  • Blaming Others

When people chronically complain and blame others, they may be suffering from a lack of self-confidence. This takes the responsibility off the person who does the complaining and puts it on those they are complaining about. The complainer with low self-esteem becomes the victim.

  • Response immediately to criticism

When criticized, the person who lacks self-confidence may immediately make excuses. More confident people will listen to the criticism and decide later whether or not it is constructive. The need to make excuses shows the person’s desire to keep people from thinking he is worthless. I am sure that you have experienced a situation where upon saying a small critical comment to one of your friends he replied back immediately and aggressively. For example, if you told your friend something like “your performance wasn’t that good today” and he replied saying, “no no no, its just because I was tired” or “no I was just thinking of something else while working and that’s what why I was distracted”. This shows that he lacks self-confidence. Confident people listen to criticism and see whether it’s constructive or not. If it was constructive they accept it, if not, it doesn’t bother them much. If you saw a body building champion and told him “hey, you look pretty weak”, what will he do? He will just smile and move away because he knows that he’s a champion.

  • Body Language is defensiveness

When a person has defensive body language, such as crossing the arms or legs, she may be exhibiting a lack of self-confidence by shutting others out. People who lack self-confidence always take the defensive position (arms folded and may be accompanied by crossing their legs). The gesture of closing off shows anxiety and discomfort in the environment.

  • Want to be accepted

People who lack self-confidence often need the approval of others to feel validated, according to Selfesteemawareness.com. If others accept the person who lacks confidence, then she must be okay. Not getting that approval or receiving criticism is frustrating and drives the level of self-confidence even lower. To change this, the person suffering from confidence problems needs to realize that not everyone will approve of her actions or be pleased with her decisions.

  • Compensating

A friend of mine looked really upset one day and when I told him that he replied saying ”I never get upset and I never have problems”. What happened here? Is my friend a superman who is always happy?

Of course not, he is just compensating for his lack of self-confidence. Every one compensates in his own way. One person may become arrogant, another one may reply using the ‘never’ word just like in the previous example while others turn into perfectionists.

  • Don’t relish Success

Some people’s self-esteem is so low they drive themselves to overachievement then fail to see that their ability was what brought success. They may consider themselves lucky rather than competent. They lack confidence in their own judgment, and they expect disapproval.

  • Scare to change anything about surroundings or themselves

A lack of self-confidence can also motivate people to stay in unsatisfying situations. They may stay in a bad relationship or job that isn’t right for them because of a fear of change. The lack of confidence to make good decisions for change keeps them in negative environments.

  • Pessimism besets them

When someone suffers from low self-esteem, he may become pessimistic and critical of all situations. He takes his negative feelings out on family, friends and coworkers, and lacks the ability to be optimistic.

  • Daunted by future

Many sufferers from low self-confidence worries about the future and what might happen. They lack the ability to enjoy the present because they’re so worried about the bad things that might happen.

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July 15, 2012 · 5:00 am

Self Esteem & Confidence

Self esteem increases your confidence. If you have confidence you will respect yourself and then you can respect others, improve your relationships and become happier….this is not a selfish goal as you will contribute more and share yourself with the world and those around you.

Confidence matters in :

  • relationships
  • work
  • parenting
  • life skills – decision making, achieving, improving situations or circumstances you don’t like
  • expressing yourself
  • taking up new challenges
  • being open to change
  • self improvement

It comes from several sources:

  • from within yourself
  • from others
  • from your achievements

Here, are some ways you can build your confidence and indirectly your self esteem.

  1. Face your fears challenges seem scary but your fears are usually exaggerated. Facing your fears increases your confidence and boosts your esteem.
  2. Forget your failures – learn from them. Avoid making the same mistakes again but don’t limit yourself by assuming you failed before so you can’t succeed this time. Try again, you’re wiser and stronger.  Don’t be trapped in the past!
  3. Work on your self confidence
  4. Know what you want and ask for it. Learn to be assertive – you deserve your dreams to come true!
  5. Reward yourself when you succeed. No-one else will! Isn’t everything easier when you take time to help yourself? Make a list of your successes and focus on the positive.
  6. Talk – We often make assumptions about a situation or person which are not true. Your attitude and behaviour can be negatively affected so if you have any doubt or question ask and don’t assume you know why or how.
  7. Don’t be defeated! Try something else. You are not going to be defeated by one failed attempt are you? Doesn’t everyone fail before they succeed? All you need is a different approach.
  8. Don’t fall into depression.


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Group Discussion Skills

The reason why institutes put you through a Group discussion and an interview, after testing your technical and conceptual skills in an exam, is to get to know you as a person and gauge how well you will fit in their institute. The Group discussion tests how you function as a part of a team. As a manager, you will always be working in teams, as a member or as a leader. Therefore how you interact in a team becomes an important criterion for your selection. Managers have to work in a team and get best results out of teamwork. That is the reason why management institutes include GD as a component of the selection procedure.

Tips to Improve on GD skills

  • Tip 1 : Brushing up on your general awareness is a must. Being aware of current affairs and issues and happenings, which affect our lives, however remotely, shows a well-rounded personality. Interest in one’s environment is an essential quality for a agent, as only when he is well informed about all the facets is he able to take correct decisions. Make a habit of reading newspapers like TOI and Economic Times and general interest and business magazines like Frontline, Outlook and Business India.
  • Tip 2 :  Being aware of current happenings is not enough. One must also form opinions on those happenings and issues that arise. Think about what you feel about different issues, say, terrorism .Write down your thoughts. Ask yourself why you feel that way, what are the premises underlying your thoughts and beliefs. Also question whether your point of view is based on facts, or on opinions.
  • Tip 3 : The process of opinion formation is incomplete without getting inputs from others. Get into the habit of discussing issues with your friends and family. Hear multiple points of view. Listen, question and argue. Express your opinion. If you are proven wrong, accept it with good grace. Modify your opinions as you go along. This will help you clear your own thought process plus it will get you into the habit of discussion.
  • Tip 4 : While discussing, learn to check your temper. Maybe you’ll find others holding view which are disagreeable to you. But remember that they have a right to their opinions. Everyone does. Learn to respect their points of views even if you don’t accept them. It shows maturity on your part. This will be a good training for controlling your emotions, which is of utmost importance in a GD.
  • Tip 5 : Practice: Try and mobilize other people who are interested in GDs and simulate GDs. Get someone who has been through GDs before to observe it and give you feedback on your performance. It is better if the group consists of people who you don’t know too well.

Group Discussion Etiquette


  • Respect the contribution of other speakers.
  • Speak pleasantly and with courtesy to all members of the group
  • Listen well to the ideas of other speakers; you will learn something
  • Remember that a discussion is not a fight. Learn to disagree politely.
  • Respect that others have differing views and are not necessarily `wrong’.
  • Think about your contribution before you speak. How best can you answer the question/ contribute to the topic?
  • Try to stick to the discussion topic. Don’t introduce irrelevant information.
  • Be aware of your body language when you are speaking. Keep it `open’ and friendly.
  • Avoid gestures that appear aggressive.
  • Agree with and acknowledge what you find interesting.
  • Stay with the topic. If the discussion does waiver, bring it back on topic by saying something like this a final point about the last topic before we move on’ or `that’s an interesting point, can we come back to that later?
  • Try to speak clearly. Don’t whisper; even if you’re feeling uncertain about your ideas or language.


  • Don’t take offence if another speaker disagrees with you. Putting forward differing points of view is an important part of any discussion. Others may disagree with your ideas, and they are entitled to do so.
  • Never try to intimidate or insult another speaker or ridicule the contribution of others.
  • Don’t use comments like ‘that’s stupid’ or ‘you’re wrong’.
  • Take care to use a moderate tone of voice. If you sound angry or aggressive others will not want to listen to you.
  • Be aware of your body language. Gestures like finger-pointing can appear aggressive.
  • If you are a confident speaker, try not to dominate the discussion. Pause to allow quieter students a chance to contribute.
  • Avoid drawing too much on personal experience or anecdote. Although some tutors encourage students to reflection their own experience, remember not to generalize too much.
  • Don’t interrupt or talk over another speaker. Let them finish their point before you start. Listening to others earns you the right to be heard.

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Public Speaking

The primary difference between a poor speech and a good one is in its delivery. The real challenge of public speaking is the actual presentation of the speech. Proper delivery techniques should be used to successfully communicate the substance of the speech to the audience. Nonverbal communication accounts for approximately 93% of the communication process. Essentially this means that how the presentation is delivered is more important than what is said. To present a speech effectively, the following skills should be developed: overcoming nerves, developing stage presence, refining vocal qualities, maximizing power of expression, making eye contact, and using presentation aids.

Preparing a Speech can be broadly divided in to two categories.


  • Topic and Purpose – Make sure the topic you choose overlaps with their knowledge and interests with the interests and information needs of the audience. Presentations on general topics are more difficult to prepare and present than presentations on narrower topics. The immediate purpose of the Public speaking is to communicate your idea, thought & view point across to the audience. For this to happen, the speaker should be effective in persuading or informing the audience.
  • Audience Analysis – Speakers should also perform an “audience analysis.” Sometimes this involves gathering new information about an audience; sometimes it just requires taking account of information they already have as they plan and develop a presentation. Common aspects of audience analysis include: typical age, gender, group affiliations, education, type of employment, knowledge of the topic, attitudes about the speaker and the topic, and personal or professional interests that might be relevant to the topic.
  • Content – We think content should receive significant time and attention during preparation. After all, it’s the content that contains the message! Good public speaking presentations also include examples, illustrations and supporting stories that show how the information presented applies to the lives of the audience members. Most good speakers can tell a few jokes or give an enjoyable after-dinner speech. But the real work of public speaking is to inform or persuade. Therefore, it is important to present real information to their audiences, provide new insights for them, and convince them that the message rests on solid evidence. Simply testifying to the strength and sincerity of our own beliefs does not guarantee that anyone else will accept them.
  • Structure – The speaker must decide whether he or she is talking about steps in a process, problems and solutions, general categories of a broader topic, a historical sequence, case examples, and so on. Strong presentations are built around a logical structure that works for the topic and helps the audience follow the speech. The structure helps the speaker decide which main point to address first and the order of the points that follow. If a presentation is just a jumble of everything we know about a topic, it can confuse the audience. If people get confused, they assume it s the speaker s fault and tend to quit listening.
  • Developing the Introduction – The introduction is a vital part of the presentation because it sets the tone for what is to follow. A good introduction does the following:
  • Gets attention
  • Discloses the purpose
  • Identifies the speaker
  • Establishes Rapport
  • Gives an advance summary
  • Developing a Strong Conclusion – The conclusion should bring the presentation to closure. It should close the “loop” opened by the introduction. Where the introduction gives an advance notification of what will follow, the conclusion should review and reiterate the main points that have been covered. Where the introduction tells the audience how the presentation will benefit them, the conclusion should specifically tell them how and under what circumstances to apply the information provided. The conclusion should also touch again on the audience interests served by the material provided. This motivates them to remember and use the information.


Most competitors work very hard on their speech mechanics, so delivery is generally strong. Thorough preparation and rehearsal, focused on good standards of performance, is the key

  • Notes vs. Memorization – Each speaker should do what he or she can do best. It’s certainly reasonable to memorize presentations when preparing for competition. Speakers want to be prepared so they don t forget anything important. But to memorize a speech, you have to write it out first. It turns out that we don t write the way we usually speak. In writing we use longer words, more formal phrasing and longer, more complex sentences. So, when speakers recite written material from memory it can sound a little stiff, as though they are reading from a book instead of speaking to an audience. Many good speakers use a keyword outline of their main points and any essential information like statistics and direct quotations. Since they aren’t following a script, they’re able to speak with personal pronouns, shorter words, shorter sentences and even sentence fragments. It just makes sense that this kind of speech is easier to remember and deliver effectively.
  • Wording – Good public speaking is only slightly more formal than ordinary conversational speech. Long words may sound important, but they don t necessarily communicate better. Some good rules to follow are:
  • don’t use any words you don t think your audience will understand,
  • don’t use any words you aren’t sure you know how to pronounce correctly,
  • don’t use any words you wouldn’t care to define in response to a judge’s question,
  • don t use any long words if you know short words that will do just as well,
  • never use two or more words when one word will do the job.
  • Movement – Many effective speakers stay at the podium, others prefer to move around. From my experience, I suggest that neither approach is automatically superior. There have been “movers” and winning “podium standers” speeches. The key is what works for the speaker. If the movement seems spontaneous and it emphasizes and supports the presentation, then it can be very effective. On the other hand, movement can also appear mechanical, detracting from the immediacy of a presentation. Also, if the movement seems random or nervous, it will only detract from the speech.
  • Gesture – Gestures and movements, like many other nonverbal communications, can either tremendously reinforce and clarify the speech, or distract the audience from the message. In order to eliminate nervous habits, the speaker must first identify any tendencies that may be exhibited. The best way to do this is by videotaping a practice delivery and analyzing the tape. It often helps to have someone else assist with the tape analysis since speakers tend to focus more on how they sound than on their mannerisms. Another benefit of movement is that it helps to engage the audience. They pay more attention, especially if the speaker is moving towards them. As speakers learn to read the audience’s feedback, they can use movement to respond. However, one of the most important factors of movement is that it looks natural. Movement that looks rehearsed takes away from the speech; unnatural movements do not help the speaker feel more at ease. Also, care should be taken to not go overboard. Pacing and overuse of gestures and movements distracts from the presentation.
  • Vocal Delivery – Some people are born with better voices than others. However, just about everyone can learn effective vocal delivery. The keys are comfort and variety. As speakers gain experience, they will discover the vocal pitch and volume that are most comfortable for them most of the time. Pitch means how high or low a voice sounds within its own range. Never try to “sound like an orator,” our natural voice will always sound better. Then, to add emphasis or help the audience interpret the meaning of the presentation, competitors should punctuate with changes in pitch, rate, and/or volume. Use a fairly conversational delivery for most of the presentation and save the extra volume and emphasis for when they are needed. Finally, effective delivery requires correct pronunciation. If a word is too hard to pronounce, choose a simpler word.
  • Interaction with Audience – The best presentations seem more like conversations than lectures or sermons. That’s because the best speakers know that audiences like to participate, to be involved. One way to do this is with the rhetorical question. (“What would life be like without agriculture?” or, “Who wants their children to live in a world without clean water?”) Speakers don’t ask these questions because they want the audience to answer out loud. Instead, the speaker wants them to answer in their own minds. When they do, they are participating in the presentation, even though they aren’t saying anything. Another way to involve the audience is to acknowledge their reactions and opinions (“When I say agriculture, I know that most of you are thinking ‘cows and tractors,’ or, “If you re like most people our age you ve never even thought about problems with the local landfill.”) These techniques allow a speaker to talk with an audience, as he or she would in a conversation, as opposed to merely talking in front of them.

Finally, smiling, making lots of eye contact and using personal pronouns such as you, we, us, and our help increase interaction and a sense of identification between speaker and audience.

Develop and deliver your presentation using these five key concepts and you’ll be a successful speaker.

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Improve your Pronunciation

The first thing you should know is that everyone can speak English with a clear pronunciation; everybody has a mouth, a tongue and lips. Everyone can speak every language because there is no difference between human; we are all born with the same mechanism.

Pronouncing every word correctly leads to poor pronunciation! Good pronunciation comes from stressing the right words – this is because English is a time-stressed language. English is considered a stressed language while many other languages are considered syllabic. In other languages, such as French or Italian, each syllable receives equal importance (there is stress, but each syllable has its own length). English pronunciation focuses on specific stressed words while quickly gliding over the other, non-stressed, words.

  • English environment

If you really want to improve your English pronunciation, you should be surrounded by English everyday, which means the best thing is to be in a place where we talk only in English. If you can’t have this situation, you can do it by listening to English every day, you can listen to English radio, or TV, you can also have some CDs in English.

  • Listen and don’t speak

When someone talks to you or to someone else in English you should not speak at the same time, you should listen, focus on his speaking, his English intonation, which words he stress, which words he doesn’t stress etc.
Never speak when listening to English, always focus on listening first, speaking will come later!

  • Learn English subconsciously

Never try to learn English in a short time, listen always to English and be sure that you will speak it one day, you don’t know exactly when but you will learn it.
Always listen to English and don’t try anything else, you will learn English subconsciously, believe me!

  • Speak slowly

Never try to speak fast, always try to speak English slowly at the first time, you will get faster subconsciously without doing anything, you should pronounce each word correctly, that’s the goal!

  • Practice English

Always practice your English, read out loud, speak English with your friends, practice English every day, this will help you to know the correct way to stress syllables.

  • Speak out loud

Never be quiet, always speak out loud, this helps you a lot if you are shy when you speak English.

  • Record yourself speaking English

And compare your speaking with a native speaker, you will see the mistakes you’ve done, you will improve your English pronunciation.

  • Have some English friends

You should have some friends with the same goal as you, friends trying to learn English, you should practice your English with them, tell them if you find something useful to improve your English or if you find a new method, they will also tell you, they help you when you get bored, it’s really one of the best things to improve your English.

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